IronSerif
03-22-2003, 09:59 PM
Ahhh...finally the weekend. And time for another round of the 2am funny! Don't want to keep anyone in anymore suspense, nor do I want to stay up much longer either lol
So enjoy :)
2am funny pics of the night:
1st Pic: I wonder what's so funny about this picture with Tom Cruise & Oprah? (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/tomfart.jpeg)
2nd Pic: One of the frequent questions I get asked is: "Iron, can we see a pic of you at one of your parties??" Well, I can't dissappoint, so without further adue (sp?), here is a pic of me at tonight's party (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/clown.jpeg)
DISCLAIMER: Ok, that's not me....serioiusly...it's a joke...please don't think that's me
3rd Pic: People who have played "Advanced Wars" for the gameboy advance will find this cute. Here is a little parody (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/arsenal.jpg) of what it would look like if the guys from "Advanced Wars" invaded Iraq.
4th Pic: Here at Verizon Wireless, we strive to bring the best quality in service, support and products to our customers. As a special bonus to you guys, I am going to show you a prototype of a new product that is in development as we speak. I am proud to present to you...The best headset made for cellular phones (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/headset.jpeg). I expect a press release by Verizon Wireless on monday
2am funny flash stuff of the night:
1st Flash Thing: For those of you who didn't think our Pres. couldn't get jiggy with it...You were wrong! Come see Dancing Bush (http://www.miniclip.com/dancingbush.htm) on the dance floor busting a move with disco lights, spot lights, crazy music...And you even control him!
2nd Flash Thing: This is a last minute edition, but it's gotta be one of the coolest flash games ever played this late at night. It's called Penguin Arcade (http://www.miniclip.com/penguin.htm) and basically it's a shooting range with penguins. There's just something about it that makes it fun.
Maybe it could be that 10 or 11 drunk people were all hudled around a 15inch LCD Monitor trying to outscore eachother and talking all kindsa smack. This definately made the latter end of the night interesting :)
3rd Flash Thing: My sister sent me this, and I thought it was kinda cute and funny (And this is before I went out lol). Here is a flash animation (http://www.flowgo.com/flowgo2_view.cfm?page_id=50354) of a baby in a tub singing "Splish Splash I was taking a bath" and then poops in the tub while he is singing. haha...
2am funny jokes of the night:
1st Joke:
The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.
The game of choice for frontline workers is football.
The game of choice for middle management is tennis.
The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
2nd Joke:
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."
3rd Joke:
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
4th Joke:
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying jerk!" "Silence in the court!", the Judge shouted back to the man, all the while banging his gavel. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You darned tightwad!" blurted the spectator again. "Quiet!", yelled the judge after a few more bangs of his gavel, and then continues, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout when the Judge thunders back, "If you don't tell me reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!" So the man answers, "I've lived next to that lying jerk for ten years now, but do you think he ever had any tools when I needed to borrow one?!"
5th Joke:
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
6th Joke:
Here is a short list of things you will never hear a redneck say:
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini
Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
I've got it all on the C drive
I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today
Honey, we don't need another dog
Duct tape won't fix that
Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen
Wrasslin's fake.
2am funny misc things of the night:
1st Misc Thing: We all set trends, or folling them somehow, even if we don't notice it. Looking for that new way to be unique? Looking for a new style to set? Well I have just the product. Bubble Briefs!!! (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/bubblebriefs.jpeg) I might have to get a couple and write up a review for everyone ;)
2nd Misc. Thing: This has got to be the worst thing (http://www.optillusions.com/dp/1-31.htm)to show somebody this late at night, and after a few drinks. I'm about to cry cause I don't understand it :(
Goodnight everyone!
So enjoy :)
2am funny pics of the night:
1st Pic: I wonder what's so funny about this picture with Tom Cruise & Oprah? (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/tomfart.jpeg)
2nd Pic: One of the frequent questions I get asked is: "Iron, can we see a pic of you at one of your parties??" Well, I can't dissappoint, so without further adue (sp?), here is a pic of me at tonight's party (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/clown.jpeg)
DISCLAIMER: Ok, that's not me....serioiusly...it's a joke...please don't think that's me
3rd Pic: People who have played "Advanced Wars" for the gameboy advance will find this cute. Here is a little parody (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/arsenal.jpg) of what it would look like if the guys from "Advanced Wars" invaded Iraq.
4th Pic: Here at Verizon Wireless, we strive to bring the best quality in service, support and products to our customers. As a special bonus to you guys, I am going to show you a prototype of a new product that is in development as we speak. I am proud to present to you...The best headset made for cellular phones (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/headset.jpeg). I expect a press release by Verizon Wireless on monday
2am funny flash stuff of the night:
1st Flash Thing: For those of you who didn't think our Pres. couldn't get jiggy with it...You were wrong! Come see Dancing Bush (http://www.miniclip.com/dancingbush.htm) on the dance floor busting a move with disco lights, spot lights, crazy music...And you even control him!
2nd Flash Thing: This is a last minute edition, but it's gotta be one of the coolest flash games ever played this late at night. It's called Penguin Arcade (http://www.miniclip.com/penguin.htm) and basically it's a shooting range with penguins. There's just something about it that makes it fun.
Maybe it could be that 10 or 11 drunk people were all hudled around a 15inch LCD Monitor trying to outscore eachother and talking all kindsa smack. This definately made the latter end of the night interesting :)
3rd Flash Thing: My sister sent me this, and I thought it was kinda cute and funny (And this is before I went out lol). Here is a flash animation (http://www.flowgo.com/flowgo2_view.cfm?page_id=50354) of a baby in a tub singing "Splish Splash I was taking a bath" and then poops in the tub while he is singing. haha...
2am funny jokes of the night:
1st Joke:
The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.
The game of choice for frontline workers is football.
The game of choice for middle management is tennis.
The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
2nd Joke:
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."
3rd Joke:
A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
4th Joke:
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying jerk!" "Silence in the court!", the Judge shouted back to the man, all the while banging his gavel. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You darned tightwad!" blurted the spectator again. "Quiet!", yelled the judge after a few more bangs of his gavel, and then continues, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout when the Judge thunders back, "If you don't tell me reason for your outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!" So the man answers, "I've lived next to that lying jerk for ten years now, but do you think he ever had any tools when I needed to borrow one?!"
5th Joke:
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
6th Joke:
Here is a short list of things you will never hear a redneck say:
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini
Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
I've got it all on the C drive
I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today
Honey, we don't need another dog
Duct tape won't fix that
Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen
Wrasslin's fake.
2am funny misc things of the night:
1st Misc Thing: We all set trends, or folling them somehow, even if we don't notice it. Looking for that new way to be unique? Looking for a new style to set? Well I have just the product. Bubble Briefs!!! (http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze4494h/funny/3-22-03/bubblebriefs.jpeg) I might have to get a couple and write up a review for everyone ;)
2nd Misc. Thing: This has got to be the worst thing (http://www.optillusions.com/dp/1-31.htm)to show somebody this late at night, and after a few drinks. I'm about to cry cause I don't understand it :(
Goodnight everyone!