Funnies: Week of 04/20/03

[IronSerif]

Well it's Easter Sunday, and my friends have this sick idea of going out at 1 in the morning to do an easter egg hunt that they have planned out. First thing, I know that they aren't planning on having no damn Easter egg hunt out there. Second thing, they are probably plotting against me. Third thing, when the Macintosh girl says "it's ok, it'll be fun", then get scared...

Anyways, while they're all gettin ready, I'll take some time to post this :)

So enjoy!

[IronSerif]

For the pics, I found about a set of 4 pages worth of Bush parody pics. Might as well post'em all instead of spreading them throughout the week(s)!

Here is the first set (http://winstars.free.fr/english/bush.html)

Here is the second set (http://winstars.free.fr/english/bush2.html)

Here is the third set (http://winstars.free.fr/english/bush3.html)

Here is the foruth set (http://winstars.free.fr/english/bush4.html)

My favorite is 4th and 5th pics found on page 1!

[IronSerif]

1st movie clip- Guys, we know this all too much.
Here is a movie clip (http://media.ebaumsworld.com/lifeasaguy.asf) of a guys love life told through stick figure animation. Just like how all stories should be told!

2nd movie clip- Have you ever had a Hippo girl just totally fall in love with you, and you just didn't know exactly how to tell her you don't feel the same way for her? This pseudo-music video (http://www.rathergood.com/hippo/) will help you with your problems.
Don't worry, I'm just as confused

3rd movie clip- We all think about getting new vehicles. We have so many options, but I bet none of you knew that this option was available. Here is a movie clip (http://www.dailyhog.com/SUV_ultimate.htm) of the ultimate SUV. Imagine rolling up to school or work with this thing...New meaning to "bringing the pain".

4th movie clip- This has got to bed the best FedEx commercial (http://www2.commercialcloset.org/cgi-bin/iowa/quicktime.html?record=248) ever! Combat Ranger action figures wearing dresses, lol!

[IronSerif]

1st flash thing- In honor of Easter AND Smoochies (remember that petunia's summertime adventure last week), I bring you,Smoochies very happy Easter (http://minibytes.mondominishows.com/easter/main.asp). If you saw last weeks flash, then you know what to expect...

2nd flash thing- And just because it's saturday night/sunday morning, and randomness is good....I bring you Bunny Hunter: The story of a rabbit who had a gun (http://raditts.com/phyles/WTF.swf). And throughout the whole thing, I promise you that you will ask yourself..."WTH?"

[IronSerif]

1st joke-
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said,
"Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of
the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start
making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing
of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way
down."

The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock
on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must
be the door, I'll get it!"

2nd joke-
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery,
spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken."

3rd joke-
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like
expensive perfume. She turns to the old Italian woman on the elevator
with her and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"

Another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also
smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old Italian
woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination
and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves she looks both beautiful
women in the eyes, turns, bends over, and farts. "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."

That's it for now everyone, i'll post more throughout the week, goodnight :)

[ECA]

http://ugo.mondominishows.com/mondo/dynamic/15/htf/showplay/showplay-low.html

[Ioman]

Originally posted by ECA
http://ugo.mondominishows.com/mondo/dynamic/15/htf/showplay/showplay-low.html

I don't care for gross cartoons like that. Not to mention the 100 pop-up ads that showed up.

[IronSerif]

lol I'm still confused about the rabbit with the gun as well...but for some reason it was hilarious? lol

anyways, more jokes to get us through monday!

----
Zen and How

A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cashbox and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.

The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

----

A guy tries to impress his date with his knowledge of wine. He tells the wine steward to bring a bottle of 1985 Sterling Cabernet Sauvignon from the Carneros district. After tasting it, the young man berates the steward. "This is a 1992 vintage from the Diamond Creek vineyard in the Mayacamas range. Please bring me what I ordered."

Watching from the bar, an old drunk comes up to the table with a glass in his hand and says, "Can you tell me what this is?"

Winking at his date, the young man sips from the drunk’s glass.

"Christ, this tastes like pee!" he exclaims, spitting it out.

"Yeah," says the drunk, "but what year?"

[llbbl]

The bush links are friggin hilarious !! totally good stuff !! WTG Iron

[IronSerif]

Thanks bro, glad you liked'em :)

If you feel like getting a lil confused, check out the movie clip with the bunny that has a gun :P

[IronSerif]

A guy asks a young blonde he's just slept with, "Am I the first guy you ever made love to?"
The blonde ashes out her cigarette and replies, "You might be. Your face looks familiar."

----

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "It's my old aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

----

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
You didn't?! It's all over town!

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Q - What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
A - Are you sure it's mine?