Ioman
10-30-2003, 09:51 AM
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
> it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
> though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little
> girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
> reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
> impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask
Jonah".
> The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,
> "Then you ask him".
>
>
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
> work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
> what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher
> paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a
> beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a
minute."
>
>
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
> looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs
> white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
> wrong and make me cry or be unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The
little
> girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how
> come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice
> it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
> Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'" Just
then,
> a small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
> she's dead."
>
>
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
> to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
> face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then," the teacher continued, "why is it
that
> while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't
> run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty!"
>
>
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
> nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is
> watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
> table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a
> note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
>
> it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
> though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little
> girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
> reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
> impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask
Jonah".
> The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,
> "Then you ask him".
>
>
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
> work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
> what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher
> paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a
> beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a
minute."
>
>
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
> at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several
> strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She
> looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs
> white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
> wrong and make me cry or be unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The
little
> girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how
> come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice
> it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's
> Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'" Just
then,
> a small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
> she's dead."
>
>
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
> to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
> face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then," the teacher continued, "why is it
that
> while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't
> run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty!"
>
>
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
> nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is
> watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
> table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a
> note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
>