View Full Version : Funnies: Week of 11-30-03
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:12 PM
Well I hope everyone had a great Turkey Day, and if you don't celebrate Turkey Day then....hope you had a good...day? Or something like that :P
Anyways, anyone else do some crazy shopping on black friday? There's always black friday horror stories to tell, so lets hear'em if you got'em!
Oh..speaking of Thanksgiving...Check out a new way to consume alcohol! (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_841109.html?menu=news.quirkies)
Time for the funnies...so Enjoy!
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:14 PM
To kick off the funnies...we're gonna watch a lil bit of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog!!! That's right, he's got his own music video!
I saw it for the first time a few weeks ago up at school, and then DarkShark sent over a PM with a link to the music video!
So if you haven't seen the music video for "I Keed"...you are so missing out. But it's ok...Cause you can watch it here! (http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2480928&refsite=6166)
BEWARE: Dogs Gone Wild are in the video!! :P
Thanks Darkshark!
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:16 PM
My buddy Murf loves these (pointless? :P) flash movies/songs. But hey..whatever floats his boat :)
So if you have 30 secs or so of your life to waste (which you should) and wish to burn a few more brain cells, then view the Lobster Sticks to Magnet (http://www.guns4back2school.com/flash.php?num=3) flash. He loves this flash...lol
Don't blame me if you're going to bed singing this song....I know it's catchy and all...
:P
Ah well, I might as well throw in a cheap short flash in here as well....
10 things you'll never hear a woman say (http://www.clublaugh.com/item.php?id=255&sort=date)
At least we can dream!
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:18 PM
Ok...so last week there was a demand for more games...and I gave up posting the games in favor of posting Thanksgiving Day stuff...(it's only once a year!)
So...my belated present to everyone....GAME TIME!!!
Start off kinda slow since we're all rusty at playin flash games...
So here is a game where you have to guide balls through this maze, but you can't let them fall into holes, so you have to use these things to cover the holes. Can get kinda tricky with multiple balls (get your minds outta the gutter!) so watch out...Play Flip-Flop! (http://www.ceres.dti.ne.jp/~tmat/fflap/)
Ok, warmed up? Cause now we're gonna stop playing with the balls (...) and move on to a lil action game. In this game, you have a lil guy with a gun that runs back and forth, and can jump, and shoots at helicopters! How cool is that? And you even get RPG's, which I haven't figured out how to use yet. Maybe the instructions will help out with that :P
Time to play Heli-Attack II (http://www.squarecircleco.com/heli2/) I blew up four helicopters baby....FOUR! Eat it :P
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:19 PM
Here's some more stuff from my buddy Impulse29, thanks bro!
Human Resource Lingo
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:23 PM
I've said this before and I'll continue to say it like 100 more times before December (well probably not)...but I love those parody/spoof Mac Switch Ads. I swear one day I'm gonna make my own...maybe how I switch from different protein bars or different shoe laces or somethin :P
Anyways big props goes to Shadow221 for this one(man, everyone's contributing material this week!!!!)
Added it to my parody/spoof switch archives :)
Disclaimer: Has adult language, view at own risk
Why Mac's Suck Spoof (http://www.flogged.net/media/video/whymacssuck.wmv)
lol this is so great :) It's ok Chiara...don't cry :P
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:26 PM
Well can't have the funnies without posting some really pointless stuff. But you gotta love the people who put the time and effort to do this pointless stuff...It's so great.
For example, look at that sidetalking website I posted last week where people were making fun of those n-gage users! That's hilarious! Don't remember? Here's the site again! (http://www.sidetalkin.com)
This isn't site isn't as funny as the side talkin site...but it's a site that has pictures of people eating hot dogs.I really didn't read anything on this site, but I viewed the pictures :P Watch me eat a hot dog! (http://www.watchmeeatahotdog.com/) I like my hot dogs with chili and cheese thank you very much
Hm...not sure if THIS SITE HERE (http://www.1dentist.com/atlas/at107) is pointless, or just plain gross. Anyways..it some pictures of some "hopeless teeth". man..makes me want to grabe another drink...
IronSerif
11-29-2003, 10:27 PM
Anyways I'm done for the night. Time to go avoid homework and watch a movie or something..
And I shall leave you with...A Mug Shot of MJ (http://www.sbsheriff.org/jpg/pio/11200301.jpg)
Goodnight everyone :)
Originally posted by IronSerif
Anyways I'm done for the night. Time to go avoid homework and watch a movie or something..
And I shall leave you with...A Mug Shot of MJ (http://www.sbsheriff.org/jpg/pio/11200301.jpg)
Goodnight everyone :)
WOW, 5'11" and 120lbs.
Ioman
11-30-2003, 12:37 AM
I bet rave dance clubs will adopt that non-liquid alchohol spray. Right now Oxygen is a huge hit at these clubs.
dude..that nasty tooth site was just plain wrong. now i'm going to have nightmares and be thinking my teeth hurt.
OK,
There is this gadget, Think its called the SLAMMER.
Fits on most bottles.
What it does is let you add AIR pressure to a container, and release it WHEN you want to.
WHEN is WHEN you are drinking from the bottle. But insted of AIR, it is NOW Booze. As the AIR is at the other end of the bottle.
Dirty trick... Try this on yourself. Talk a pop bottle, fill with water.
BLOW into bottle, as much air as you can.
DONT let the Air out.
Tip the bottle up and try to take a drink.
http://www.funflashgames.com/spank.htm
720mph.....
On the choppers? 10 first try.
triton
11-30-2003, 01:01 PM
Iron Serif...i don't mean to be rude but I think you posted the wrong mug shot of Michael Jackson...here is the correct photo MJ MUG SHOT (http://www.histar.com/afternoon/starchive/2003/11/images/jackson_mug2.jpg)
:D
Ioman
11-30-2003, 01:08 PM
Originally posted by triton
Iron Serif...i don't mean to be rude but I think you posted the wrong mug shot of Michael Jackson...here is the correct photo MJ MUG SHOT (http://www.histar.com/afternoon/starchive/2003/11/images/jackson_mug2.jpg)
:D
LOL that is good. I am laughing hard right now.
IronSerif
11-30-2003, 09:46 PM
lol triton! I wasn't expectin that :)
IronSerif
11-30-2003, 09:49 PM
ECA I know what you're talking about!!!! Woo hoo! We have four of those babies here at the house (if we're talking about the right thing).
Let me see if I can find one and take a pic of it.
Basically it goes over the neck of the bottle, and then there is a smaller, longer tube that goes inside the bottle all the way to the bottom, and then you cover the other end with your thumb. When you go to hammer it, u let ur thumb go and let air in and that stuff rushes outta there in like 1.6 secs!
We're talking about the same thing right? or no? :) Either way, it's a great invention!
Originally posted by IronSerif
ECA I know what you're talking about!!!! Woo hoo! We have four of those babies here at the house (if we're talking about the right thing).
Let me see if I can find one and take a pic of it.
Basically it goes over the neck of the bottle, and then there is a smaller, longer tube that goes inside the bottle all the way to the bottom, and then you cover the other end with your thumb. When you go to hammer it, u let ur thumb go and let air in and that stuff rushes outta there in like 1.6 secs!
We're talking about the same thing right? or no? :) Either way, it's a great invention!
Only if you like Slamming.
AND
ONLY if you DONT try to breath DURING.
talk about going "Down the wrong pipe"
IronSerif
12-01-2003, 07:01 PM
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a Wal-Mart associate standing there with dark shades on.
She says, "Excuse me, Sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind, but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.
She didn't believe him but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it cost $20.00."
She says, "It is amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register, she bends down to get her purse and farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there
is no way he could tell it was her. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"
He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50. And thank you for shopping Wal-Mart."
I dont know how to save a Sinking Lawyer, DO YOU?
Good, I didnt think so.
Pass it on.
IronSerif
12-01-2003, 09:05 PM
haha..
*paddles his boat away*
Got an Anchor?
We can see if it floats, With him in it.
Good life preserver for a lawyer. STRAP it on tight.
IronSerif
12-03-2003, 08:21 AM
speaking of boats.... in that mac switch spoof/parody ad I posted....I believe the guy was saying something about how iMacs make good anchors? :)
IronSerif
12-03-2003, 08:30 AM
Don't panic...I gotcha guys covered...
What to do when the Internet goes down! (http://www.thetoque.com/031118/internetdown.htm)
Originally posted by IronSerif
speaking of boats.... in that mac switch spoof/parody ad I posted....I believe the guy was saying something about how iMacs make good anchors? :)
If its for lawyers or Politicians, it aint big enough.
Why would you want to Swim in the ocean AROUND a lawyer?
Sharks dont EAT sharks.
During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of
urine.
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15
penises (touching door handles etc.) Remote controls in hotels are the
worst! (Always carry your Lysol spray!)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually, you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated
and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime, 22 nosey workmen doing work in your home will have examined
the contents of your dirty laundry basket. We won't even go into guests
snooping in your medicine cabinet.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold
sore from one of the guests. Mouth herpes.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.
YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY NOW !! I know I will....NOT!!
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