Computer Acronyms

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PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

ISDN - It Still Does Nothing

APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

WWW - World Wide Wait

SCSI - System Can't See It

DOS - Defunct Operating System

IBM - I Blame Microsoft

DEC - Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too

MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating
System Hangs

PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect
Understanding of Mathematics

COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out

MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools
Teenagers

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lol . good stuff!

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Car Acronyms
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Acura Awful,Crappy,Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?

Audi Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

Beetle By Everyone's Experience, They Last Eternally!
Battered Everywhere; Expect To Lose Engine

BMW Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Big Money Works
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
Born Moderately Wealthy.
Break My Windows
Broken Money Waster
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Brutal Money Waster
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Big Money Waster
Blasphemized Motorized Wreck
Bastard Money Wielders

Break My Window
Busted My Wallet
But at least my Motor Works

Buick Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean
Barfed Up Icky Carmel Korn

Camaro Can't America Make A Real One?

Chevrolet Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended
Trips.
Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time
Chevy Charged Heavily
Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.

Chrysler Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's

Citroen Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters

Dodge Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego

Datsun Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips

Fiat F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation.
Failure in Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix It Again Tony?
Fix It All the Time
**** in a Taxi.

Ford F**ked over rebuilt Dodge
F**ker Only Runs Downhill
F*cked on Race Day
F*cking Over-Rated Disaster
F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous
First On Recall Day
First on race day
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found on road dead
Forge Old Rancid Donuts
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
F*ckin Owner Real Dumb!!
For Only Redneck Drivers
F*cker Only Runs Damaged
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

GMC Garage Man's Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Got More Crap
Grungy Merchandise
Got Mechanic Coming

G.T.i. Got Tossers Inside

Honda Helping Out Nips Destroying America
How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Hand Over Dollars to Asians

IROC I Race Other Cars
I Run Over Children



Jaguar Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail
Jaguar Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop

Jeep Junk Eletrical and Emissions Parts
Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
Just Eat Every Pickle.
Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jumps Everything Ever Parked
JUST Enough Engine Power?

LTD Lazy tempermental device
Leave the doors

Mazda Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly

Mercedes Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates,
Extinguishing Savings

Mercury Mileage Eventually Ruins Car -- Usually Ruins You
Makes Everyone Really Crave Underpowered, Recalled Yugo
Makes Envisioning REAL Car Understandable -- Recalled Yet?
Motorists Easily Rate Car (Usually "Real Yo-yo")

Minibus Minus Insurance, No Inspection, Beat, Usually Spraypainted

Mopar Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars

Nissan Now In Some ****ty Automobile Nightmare
Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon
Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now

Oldsmobile Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's
Leaking Everything
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly
Late Everyday

Pinto Put In New Transmission Often

Plymouth Please Let Your Mother Out <from> Under The Hood!
***** Lips <in> Your MOUTH

Pontiac Poor old ni**er thinks it's a Cadillac
Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac
Pee On Nehru's Tired Italian Astronaut Cards

PORSCHE Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

Rabbit Replace A Beetle? Boy, It Tried
Racy? Ain't! Bouncy, Ball-less Itty-bitty Toy!

Renault Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash

Rolls Royce Royal Ostentation Lets Lethargic ****s Rumble Over
Yogurt-Consuming Esthetes

SAAB Stupid, Arrogant ******* Babies
Such an arrogant bastard!
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken

Sable sleezy auto breaks leak everytime

Saturn Sally Ate Ten Urdu Radishes Nightly

Subaru Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium

Thing To Holland In Nine Gallons

Toyota Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
Too Often Yankes Overprice This Auto
Take Only Your Ordure To America

Triumph The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
Trembling Ride, Intrusive Undercarriage, Meekly Powered
Hotrod.


Vanagon Via Another Name: A Go-cart On Nerve

Volkswagen Vehicle Owner's List: Kite String, Wire, Aluminum,
Gum, Engine (NOT!)

VW Very Worthless


Holden ( An Australian manufacturer ) used to make a great selling
point of their "Radial Tuned Suspension"
Everyone else called it Roughly Tuned Suspension......

STP Stop Those Pistons.
E.F.I. Extra ****ing Insurance

BOW TIE Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines
NAPA Never Any Parts Available.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A: A towtruck.

Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
A: Passengers.

Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window?
A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it.

I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but
it doesn't".

Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
A: Push it over a cliff.

Q: Have you heard about the new Yugo convertible?
A: Researchers how found that if you tow it past 60, the top flies
off.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap
for my Yugo."
The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade."

How do you double the value of a Yugo?
Fill the tank with petrol


FORD ANNOUNCES NEW CAR FOR 1993

GRAND RAPIDS MI, Ford Motor Company announced today the introduction
of a new line of luxury automobiles. It's design is said to have been
drawn from the company's long history of past innovations and
contributions to the automobile industry. In respect to Ford's
outstanding achievments, commitment to excellence and overall
quality, the new car is being christened, with Arnold
Schwartzenegger's endorsement, the 'Total Recall'.

AirBC Scare BC

Air Canada Air Chaos

Air France Air Chance

ALITALIA (The) Airplane Lands In Toronto And (the) Luggage In
Australia
Always Late In Taking-offs, Always Late In Arrivals

BOAC Better On A Camel

BWIA (British West Indian Airways) : But Will It Arrive?

CAAC (Civil Aviation Administration of China)
China Air Always Canceled
China Air Always Crashed
China Airways Always Crashes

CP Air (now Canadian Airlines International) Cabbage Patch
Airlines

Delta Don't Even Leave The Airport
Don't Even Let Them Aboard.
Doesn't Ever Land The Airplane
Don't ever let terrorists aboard
Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive
Don't Expect Loved-ones To Arrive
Don't Expect Luggage Today at All

Delta's Sky West: Scare West. . .

EL AL Every Landing Always Late
Exploded Luggage -- Airliner Lost!
Lufthansa Let Us **** The Hostess And Not Say Anything.
Let Us **** The Hostess As No Steward Available
Lousy Useless Fliers: They Haven't Any Navigational Systems
Aboard

Northwest Orient Northworst Disorient

PIA Please Inform Allah
Pray I'll Arrive

PSA Poor Sailors Airline

Pacific Western - PWA (now Canadian Airlines International) = Please
Wait Awhile

QANTAS Queenies And Nymphomaniac Transvestite Air Stewards
QUeers And Nymphos Trained As Staff

Sabena Such A Bad Experience; Never Again!

SAHSA Stay At Home, Stay Alive (Honduras's Official Airline)

TWA Try Walking Across
Trembling Wings Airlines.
The Worst Airlines
Teeny Weeeny Airlines
Travel With Amal
Terrorists With AK-47

US AIR Unquestionably Still Allegheny In Reality.

Varig Virgins Always Refuse Intensive Groveling

[ECA]

lol . good stuff!


Where'd you get this one...It dont work..

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i was laughing at the first post that i found