Funny Junk: 1st week of Oct.

[IronSerif]

Well it's tuesday...so time to roll out some funny junk!



Mating Bulls

A man takes his wife to the live stock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, isn't that nice!"

They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one!"

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The fed up man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was the same old cow every day."

[ECA]

moooo

[IronSerif]

There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their
igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo.

They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and poured a cup of
water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. "Not bad" said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still.

So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!"said the first Eskimo.

But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!" and went into the bedroom, looked under three hugh back thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there.

He took one of the small balls of ice and put it in a spoon, and held a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".

He won............................................... ...............

[IronSerif]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

[IronSerif]

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and ******.

The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"

The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep."

The man says, "And the ******?"

"Keeps him from rolling off of the bed."

[ECA]

keep it coming

[ECA]

http://www.columbia.edu/~rhee/

OW....